The Story of Two Selfless People
by Kirie Mitsuru
Summary: Watching you has become a habit even after all these years and to no avail, this pain remains as I watched you be with him while I remain to support you. Makoto x OC, mentioned HaruRin and slight MakoHaru.


The Story of Two Selfless People

Makoto's POV

The Past

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original Free! Character.

Summary: Watching you has become a habit even after all these years and to no avail, this pain remains as I watched you be with him while I remain to support you. Makoto x OC, mentioned HaruRin and slight MakoHaru.

* * *

_You are my salvation._

* * *

It doesn't take much for Makoto to realize his feeling toward his best friend. Every single time he thought about it, it always seemed inevitable for him to end up liking Haru. He wanted to always be with him, helping him, reaching out his hand for him and be the only one for Haru. Of course, from the moment he realized his feeling toward his best friend, he knew nothing would stem from it.

There was a reason for this and that was an existence he curse and thank at the same time, the existence being Matsuoka Rin. From the first time the red-head entered their lives, he changed Haru in a way he never could. Rin ignited a spark in Haru's eyes and made Haru felt alive the way water does. Although he had yet to realize his feeling, Makoto knew the ominous premonition of being replaced ever since.

At times, he felt like hating Rin. Wished the red-head never showed up in the first place once. But then, Rin was such a nice cheerful kid and he made Haru happy. Frankly, that was all that matters. In the end, all he could do was enjoy what little time he had left to be with Haru.

It frightened him though, the thoughts that would fill his mind when jealousy came. The jealousy would be followed loyally by his selfishness and he felt like crying at the thought of turning into a horrible person. From the novels he read, he assumed such feeling was normal for a teen in love but that didn't made him felt any less guiltier.

The first time he felt the ugly green monster at the back of his mind was when he realized of Haru's reason for quitting swimming competitively and not even from Haru himself. To think that of all reason, it would be Rin and Haru never told him anything. It lasted for few seconds before he rationalized his thoughts and understood why Haru never mentioned it. Yet, the damaged had been done and he realized that the inevitable was coming closer than he thought.

True to his thoughts, things changed ever since Rin won against Haru when they picked up their relay trophy. It hit him like a ton of bricks when Haru made such a determined expression after Rin said something to him. While he worried, a gnawing pain at knowing that Haru would drop his indifferent mask so easily when it came to Rin was there as well. Unfortunately, the dread was filling him without avail as he further realized that the time for him to be replaced drew closer.

It was not long after then that he gained a friend. That weekend was the following weekend after he heard about Haru's race with Rin from their old coach. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to smile much, which was why he didn't want to disturb Haru or his family because Haru will notice that something was wrong and he would worry. Yet, to his surprise and dejection, his feet led him to Haru's home. Of course, he never rang the bell or anything but listening to Haru's usual morning routine.

"Tachibana, are you stalking Nanase?" the sudden question that came out of nowhere startled Makoto and he looked around in alarm and fear. There was nobody around him and what if it was a ghost? Not to mention that he did not have Haru by his side to cling on. It heightened his fear to a new level altogether.

"Oh come on. Up here Tachibana! I'm not a ghost," then he saw her. She was their classmate he noticed. Sugimoto Kazuki, a girl Nagisa said wanted to recruit but then he remembered she was a girl thus Nagisa was successfully discouraged although he kept pouting for one whole lunch and mumbled that she was perfect since she had manly name for a girl. She was resting her head on her arms while looking down on him, her short bob dark brown hair framing her face. Her eyes were bright amethyst colored under the glare of the sun.

"Sugimoto-kun! I never realize that you lived across from Haru all these time!" Makoto said, completely surprised at the presence of their classmate in their neighborhood. He truly thought the two of them were the only one from this neighborhood.

"Just Kazuki is fine and yeah, well, you are always so focused on Nanase-san every morning," Kazuki pointed out with a huff and a shrug, leaving Makoto feeling utterly guilty. It was rare to have someone their age living so close and he actually missed her for years seemed so awful although he never had the intention of alienating her or anything like that.

"Sorry Kazuki-chan. Haru and I never-," Before he could properly apologize, he was shushed by the girl who waved the topic away as if it was nothing. It might be nothing for her but he still felt horrible for overlooking her. Imagine if they noticed her years before, she might end up being one of their best friends too.

"Seriously. It's totally fine Tachibana. Don't sweat it. Oh and, can you drop the -chan?" Before Makoto could ask why, she rolled her eyes as if reading the question from his face and continued, "My name sound so wrong with the cutesy –chan. Change it with –kun if you want instead."

"Oh, ok," Makoto agreed then he remembered, "Just call me Makoto too. I don't mind." Then he smiled at her, still apologetically since the guilt had yet to subside despite the girl's words. He imagined staring at Haru playing with other kids while he stood alone and he wonder if that was how she felt whenever she heard him and Haru played right outside of her window. It was beyond unpleasant.

"Say, Makoto-kun," she called, pulling him out of his thoughts, "Do you need some company?" It was a mere simple question but it reminded him his goal of the day –staying away from Haru and his family- and his troubles yet again. Perhaps he unintentionally showed a crestfallen face or something but before he could answer the question, Kazuki scrambled down the stairs and opened her front door to let him in and she did not accept a no for an answer.

"Okay, here is your tea. Drink it," Kazuki ordered with a smile before he could politely declined, "And wait here for five minutes. I'd be ready before you knew it. You can play with Kuro and Shiro while you wait," she basically swept him on with her pace to his surprise, not that he was complaining. To his adoration, he was given two utterly adorable cats, colored black and white respectively. Needless to say, five minutes were over too fast to his liking.

Kuro took a minute longer to warm up to him while Shiro practically took ownership of his lap. Both cat seemed to take a liking of him in no time though and before long, he was given the permission to scratch their back and hear their cute purrs. When he actually looked up from the two cats, which snugly cuddle to him, he was greeted with Kazuki's warm smile that was leaning against the wall, apparently watching him.

"Did you see that?" he questioned shyly. Haru mentioned once wordlessly that he tend to grin dumbly when playing with cats and he immediately assumed it would be embarrassing and unsightly to be seen like that. Well, he imagined that it would be scary to see a big guy like him smiling dubiously at the presence of cats.

"Yes and I wonder if you can get any cuter with a smile like that," Kazuki teased with a chuckle as she ruffled his hair, similar to how he did so with his siblings, "Ready to go now, pretty boy?" Somehow, he thought she wouldn't mind if he said he wanted to stay longer with Kuro and Shiro but then he noticed that the two were off to dream land and he decided against waking the two up for his entertainment so he nodded.

"I figure a movie would be nice. Some new ones just hit the cinema today. There was an action and horror ones, you okay with action?" Kazuki raised an eyebrow in question. He just shrugged in agreement, silently thanking heaven that Kazuki did not picked horror because he wouldn't know how to tell her that he couldn't survive through a horror movie.

"Where do you want to eat for lunch? Any preference?" Kazuki asked soon after a short thoughtful pause. Actually, he had just begun wondering why did she even decide to spend the day with him when they barely acknowledge each other in class. They never talked more than necessary and she was not part of the girls in class who talked to him daily for some help nor was she part of the guys who still formally greeted him ever morning. She was just there at the corner of the class, interacting when necessary, mingling for the sake of it and yet, here she was, accompanying him though what he thought would be another bleak weekend. For now, he'd just be thankful that he wouldn't be alone for the day.

"Do you mind curry?" he questioned back, lightly putting in his input. Suddenly she looked alarm as she stared at him cautiously and her body tensed to his surprise. Did he say something wrong? He just mentioned curry for all he remembered. Maybe she hated curry?

"It is not green and have meat right?" she looked so serious that her light chocolate eyes basically burn a hole at his eyes. At all this, he could only blink before remembering the menu, "Well, they have chicken and pork along with normal curry. Why?" Kazuki averted her gaze at the question and a hint of reluctance on answering was given. Normally, he would drop it but somehow, he wanted to be friend with Kazuki rather than normal acquaintance. If he were to act normal, he figured that their relation would be stuck there as classmates at most. He was sure that she would get along well with the others too, especially Nagisa.

"You see," she started while playing with her mid back curled dark red hair, trying to change the topic but failed epically as he remain relentless on the topic. "You must promise not to laugh," she threatened with a mock glare before sighing when he agreed.

"Well, I can't seem to be able to stomach… veggies and fruit alike," he blinked amusedly at the answer and she continued before he could comment, "I mean, veggies are green and green is just suspicious and there is this sound in your mouth when you chew them and don't get me started on the smell! I know this is super childish but I've lived for fifteen years without it. I am sure I can last for a lifetime without them."

"But what about the vitamins in them that we need and meat don't provide?" Makoto asked with a worried frown, entering mama mode as Nagisa dubbed it. He couldn't help it. It was dangerous to live without those! So many illness could attack one's body who lack the nutrients those veggies provide.

"Nah, don't think about it. I've survived for fifteen years now with no problem. Everything will be fine," Kazuki shrugged nonchalantly before finally able to find a new subject. "Here is our stop! Let's get going and have fun now. Don't let any unnecessary worry to spoil our day now," she exclaimed as she dragged Makoto out of the train and his thoughts with a grin that he couldn't help but return.

Later on before they say their goodbye, Makoto realized that he actually truly had fun for the first time without Haru and his troubled thoughts. For the past week, watching Haru drifted away felt like hell all over every day but all thanks to Kazuki, in their first outing, she granted him a day free of his ugly thoughts. And he couldn't feel any less grateful.

"Hey, want to join my family for dinner?" Makoto rushed on saying before thinking. He was trying to find a way to show his gratitude and suddenly, that was the only thing that came up to his mind and which he blurted without thinking. He didn't think it was weird but from the way she stared at him, one would think he asked her to marry her.

"M-Makoto! I knew you are one precious boy but I think this is much too fast for me to meet your parents! My heart is not ready!" she gushed dramatically while blushing, which made him blush back in return and shutter at her words. Not even a minute later, Kazuki was laughing at his face. "You are truly one precious boy Makoto! So gullible!" She cooed while smirking mischievously.

"Don't sulk now pretty boy. As an apology, I would gladly accept your offer and I will assume you guarantee the taste to be a five star one, hmm?" Kazuki winked while he pouted at the constant teasing. After a day with her, he discovered her love for teasing and since he was her only company, he was her victim of the day so she confessed during lunch.

"I think you better run along and warn your mom about my presence since I have a shameless habit of asking for a second serve when greeted by wonderful food. I hope you don't mind," Kazuki informed gravely with a mock seriousness he grew accustomed to within a day. There was something about her that screamed friendly in a way that was different from Nagisa, close but not quite. He can't put a word to it.

After telling his mom about an extra guest, Makoto hurriedly ran back to Kazuki's home. He was practically skipping at the thought of playing with the cats. Those two were so cute and they both have similar green eyes like him now that he thought about it. He wondered why when she seemed to detest green color to the extreme but nonetheless, he was easily becoming attached to the two cats the more he thought of them.

Against his will, his feet paused in front of Haru's home. After a day not thinking about it, he couldn't help but missed Haru. He wondered if Haru missed him as much as he missed Haru or if Haru even remember him at all. He doubted so. Haru's mind was only filled with water and Rin nowadays. He could hope all he wanted but he really doubt the feeling was mutual, not even the friendship part of their relation at this point.

Now he felt horrible for even doubting their friendship. He should stay positive at all time after all and he was sure as insignificant he was to Haru now, he will remain that childhood best friend that could read his mind like an open book and Makoto will learn to be satisfied with that. Right now, the gnawing envy was so obvious that he had trouble covering it up at times but he was sure, sooner or later he'd get used to the pain and the ugly feeling called jealousy.

"You had that look again," Kazuki's voice snapped him out of his thoughts yet again for the second time in a day. Immediately locating the source, he looked up to find Kazuki in similar position as this morning. This time her arms hid half of her face, obscuring her expression and he was not quite that close to read her eyes yet.

"Kazuki," he called, not knowing what else to say. They silently stared at one another in a rather confortable silence if you asked him before she beckoned him to come into the house while she walked down the stairs. Not knowing what else to do, he followed her instruction. His rather cloudy mood evaporated to thin air the moment his eyes met the cats' but it stayed that way for a short while before Kazuki walked down the stairs to accompany him.

"Feeling better with the cats?" Kazuki asked with a small genuine smile for once, not that her usual ones at school that seemed faked. It was just usually her smile was filled with mischief. Even so, he was glad to see that she truly cared about his emotion rather than playing with it. He also knew that she knew his feelings toward Haru. He guessed it was easy to tell with how he expressed himself. Unable to hold in his curiosity, he opened his mouth.

"Was that why you keep me company today?" at his vague question, Kazuki lifted an eyebrow in confusion before he elaborated, "Because I had that look on my face?" Kazuki's eyes lingered on him for a while before she shook her head.

"Not exactly but part of it was because of that. Interested?" Kazuki teased again with a sly smirk before she winked, "It's a secret!" and gave him a peace sign. She laughed at his pouting face while she retrieved two pet plates to feed the two cats. That made the cats to scramble away from Makoto instantly to race toward their fill, eliciting a chuckle from Makoto.

"Still, I figure that you don't want to be alone. Since you don't want to disturb Nanase and I'm free, there is no harm in me volunteering," the mentioned of Haru darken his mood but not enough to completely ruin his day. In all honestly, he enjoyed spending time with Kazuki albeit the ruthless teasing. Now he knew that she actually cared for him and that was nice for someone he had just befriended.

"Did you have fun today?" Kazuki asked, breaking the confortable silence they were in while watching the two eat. Makoto instantly smiled and nodded at the question, feeling much better for the first time in the past month after all.

"Good. I'm glad to help," the way she smiled was filled with warmth that he wondered how she could be so nice to someone she just knew but decided against probing and merely enjoyed it. It was rare to find instant friend who could connect and understand him so he was grateful for her presence. He wondered how close they would be if they were friends from childhood. On that matter…

"Kazuki, are you in any club right now?" his questioned must have caught her off guard by how she blinked curiously at the sudden random question. Nonetheless, it made her think and he received a no for an answer.

"Well, I never have any specific liking towards anything and no one is close enough to make me feel attached to them so, no. I am too lazy for such activity anyway. Nu-uh. Bad idea," the way she answered discouraged him from asking his next question and made him look all gloomy all of the sudden. Not that it was intentional, but such a look would stir anyone's guilt in a heartbeat or so Nagisa said before.

"But swimming is not so bad I guess," now his eyes brightened considerably while he looked at her in wonder on how did she guessed his line of thoughts. Then again, that was pretty obvious. Kazuki chuckled at his face for the umpteenth time at his expression that day before commenting fondly, "Your face is like an open book." That promptly made him blush, not knowing whether she was teasing him or praising him.

Either way, their swim club received yet again another member and the first active female member the next weekday. Nagisa was beyond ecstatic on meeting her during the practice, cheering at the growing number of their member while Rei merely introduce himself politely. At the mention of her name, Nagisa and Gou practically jumped on her. Nagisa, because she '_is a girl with boyish name!' _so he exclaimed and Gou because she wouldn't be the only girl with boyish name anymore.

All in all, everyone was pleased at the appearance of the new member. Even Haru showed a liking to her when she showed a liking to the water before swimming freestyle. She admitted that while being able to swum all styles, freestyle was the only one who could made her swum fast. Thus, with similar preference, Haru liked her.

With that, she became an additional walking home company for the both of them although she tried to reject the offer at first. She lost all argument when Makoto sternly stated that it was unsafe for a girl to walk home alone that late. Besides, her home was just across from Haru's so there was no harm in doing so.

He never knew then how fate played with them.

* * *

"So, we are really going to do the training camp?" Makoto was surprised at the question. That day, Haru went home first to somewhat clean his house that was used to keep their camping stuff so it was only Kazuki and he walking home today. It was nice to have some company now whenever Haru just couldn't wait for him to go home, not that it was often.

"Sure, I never play with you before I join the swim club but I kind of saw you whenever you went to the sea with Haruka. So far, you never swam with him and so I figure you have some issue with water, not that I am forcing you to spill to me the story of your life but I'm worried. Will you be okay?" there were things like this as well. At times, Kazuki seemed to knew everything about him without him needing to say anything which was a refreshing change from his and Haru's usual routine.

"Don't worry. We are swimming together, aren't we? I'm sure I'll be fine. You are going right?" the last question came late because he just remembered that she was a girl and normally parents would mind to let girls go on a camp where most of the members were males. To his surprise, she merely shrugged before giving him an affirmative answer.

"You asked and I answered so what's up with that surprised look? Gee, beam like you always do," She immediately teased. It never failed to make him worry how she always seemed alone in her home aside from the company of Shiro and Kuro. He must admit that he was curious and worried about her current living circumstances. Before he could contemplate further on probing, she already gave him the look to basically force him to spill the beans.

"It's just… are you living alone?" he was officially probing and he knew it. Somehow though, it was much easier for him to ask such things to her than to others. Perhaps it was part of her friendliness but he felt completely at ease without having to hold back his tongue much, similar to how he felt with Haru, which was beyond nice in his books.

"Originally, I lived at my house with my grandparents but my grandpa passed away eight years ago and my grandma followed him during our first year in high school. My parents are always all around the world doing some business things I don't understand so, yeah, I'm alone," like a switch, Makoto instantly looked sympathetic to the new information he got. Kazuki merely waved at his attempt to say his condolence.

"Your parents never ask you to move to the city or with them?" Makoto proceed to ask, wanting to know more.

"They do, several times," his next question was cut short as she knew what he wanted to ask, "I like this peaceful city and I… love the people in here." There was something behind her gaze as she answered his unspoken question, the way she stared right into his eyes but he couldn't quite discern it but he knew that she meant her answer so he just smile at her answer.

"I'm glad I got to know you then. We wouldn't be able to talk like this if you are already gone to the city," Makoto commented warmly, which earned him a warm smile from her although it turned mischievous within seconds but he felt fortunate either way. It was rare for her to show such a smile after all.

"Makoto, I know you love my teasing behind all your protest but to hear you say that you are grateful for my endless teasing is something else. Are you silently a masochist? If I know sooner, I could give you some tips on website to buy some things to satisfy you," immediately Makoto spluttered in embarrassment at her suggestive tone and wiggling eyebrow.

"Kazuki! I'm not! Really!" Makoto huffed in fake annoyance at her laughter, "Maybe minus your teasing. You would be a great listener and a wonderful friend without that." His attempt to rebut her teasing only gained him a gasp and a loud exclamation.

"Mako-chan! How could you! I thought you accepted all of me! Are you trying to break up with me?!" Makoto could only gapped as she faked crying, "It's okay… I understand. I will still love you even when you throw me away Mako. Just give me one last hug before you abandon me!" then she latched to him like glue all the while proclaiming her love to him until he gave up and said he love her teasing as well. That only resulted to another bout of teasing. This continued until they reached her home as they part with a loud lovey-dovey goodbye on Kazuki's part.

"I'm heartbroken to say goodbye to you but until we meet again tomorrow, my dearest Mako. I shall bring your loving gaze in my heart until we are reunited again," she then blew him a kiss bye. After a few weeks with her, he had gotten used to this part of their routine although he once returned it since he had no idea how to react.

"Seriously though, if you need some mental support or someone to listen to you, I'm always here, few steps away from your home. You know that right?" if it was anybody else aside from her and the swim club members, he would have thought it was weird but there was several times where he could practically feel her sincerity and this was one of those time. So, of course, he did the only thing he did best. He smiled.

"I know Kazuki, thanks," that seemed to be the perfect answer since he got an affirmative nod and thumbs up before they part way. Watching her disappear into her house she lived in alone, Makoto couldn't wipe the smile off his face. It was beyond rare to have people say that to him so straightforwardly and he felt touched by the notion. With that, he walked home with a silly grin on his face.

* * *

_This wasn't suppose to happen! _Makoto thought as he froze in the middle of rescuing Rei. Everything was fine during the day. The weather was perfect. The sea was calm and they were fine. The practice went smoothly although they were behind the regime but it was the first day so that was also fine. Once the night falls and the storm cloud filled the sky, things went down the drain.

Awoken from his sleep, a worry filled his mind when he couldn't find Rei beside him where he supposed to sleep at and true to his worry, he found Rei nearly drowning in the middle of the raging sea. _Of course, _the thought of his fear and calling Haru slipped from his mind as he simply focus on saving Rei until his fear caught up to him. Then, his sight was covered in darkness.

As his consciousness fled and his sight turned black, the only thing he could think of was how he thought he was fine with sea. Haru and Kazuki would be angry while Nagisa would cry a river and Rei would feel confused. Seriously though, this was the worst time to faint and drown. He hoped someone noticed or this would be the end of him.

It turned out that it wasn't his time yet. The choking feeling was nasty and the seawater tasted horrible but the need to breathe overwhelmed all that. All he could think of was that he was still alive and he could breathe and feel every single one of his limbs. After he finally filled his lungs with enough oxygen, he remembered Rei who would have swallowed more water and drown further from him.

After he calmed down, he realized that he was only with Haru. Not wanting to lose the opportunity, he blurted out his feelings upon Haru's questioning gaze. He worded it out in a way that sound like a confession but pass for friendship as well. Of course, unsuspecting Haru never took it pass their friendship and he was happy enough to be able to convey it. So that was that. After all, once the Prefectural Tournament comes, Haru will definitely be preoccupied with his thoughts about Rin and before that happen, he simply wished to convey his feelings to avoid any regrets.

When they were swimming back to the shore, he absentmindedly wondered if Kazuki ever realize the whole fiasco over the thundering storm. If she did, he hoped that she didn't try to pursue them in anyway. It would be extra dangerous for a girl like her if she tried. Technically speaking, she was supposed to stay with Gou and Ama-sensei but she said it felt unfair and stayed with us at the shore instead.

"Kazu-chan is sleeping outside?" Nagisa's words shifted his eyes from the clear blue sky toward the lump outside their ruined camp. True to Nagisa's words, Kazuki slept outside with her soaked attire and jacket. Her face was covered with her hair and worry began to fill his mind at the possibility of having her sick with wet clothing and sleeping outside. With that, he went to shake the girl awake.

"Kazuki," he called out softly to avoid surprising her from her sleep. It worked fortunately and the first things that he saw were her red eyes. Before he could say anything else, a sharp pain to his gut stole his breath as he writhe in pain on the sand. As much as he wanted to whine, the dark aura surrounding Kazuki prevent him from even making a single noise.

"You four…" Kazuki glared at the four of us sharply, "What were you thinking?! Swimming in the middle of the night, during a thunder storm and never returning until morning break?! Do you know how worried I was?!" Kazuki was practically screaming her heart out but what truly made them felt guilty was that she started crying amidst her ranting.

"To think I was worried sick for a moronic bunch!" Kazuki angrily wiped her tears, continuing to glare at us murderously, especially at Nagisa who tried to talk. "Go practice until you drown for all I care! Don't you all dare come close to my tent!" with that, she barged to her tent without minding it ruined state. The four of us could only stare at her tent guiltily, the sound of her crying still heard from outside.

Not knowing what to do and with their exhaustion catching up to them, they slept outside her tent. By the time they woke up, Kazuki was already outside and much to Makoto's disappointment she started giving them silent treatment for the rest of the training camp. Although it stopped once they went back to Iwatobi, Makoto couldn't shake his guilt away that easily.

"Kazuki, I'm really sorry for making you worry during the camp," Makoto said the next day after they arrived back to Iwatobi. He personally came to her house for this because he really did feel bad about it. That being said, he was feeling too awful to even stare at her eyes, deciding to settle his sight on Shiro and Kuro instead.

"It's fine Makoto. I get the reason. It can't be helped that you guys are reckless, brainless, moronic group with too much muscle but no brain. We can't do anything about that now can we?" Kazuki said with pleasant tone despite it driving an arrow one by one to Makoto with every insult. After thinking it over, Makoto realized that it was a stupid move on his side to dive to save Rei without second thought and causing more trouble than any help in the end. Realizing this, he couldn't possibly refute her words.

"You owe me a date," Kazuki's word gained his attention, "Treat me to a movie and lunch as compensation. How does that sound?" she suggested as she gave him tea. Finally seeing the familiar mischievous smile on her face, he immediately agreed. Now that that's settled, he struggle to find any topic to talk about while Kazuki merely stroked Kuro who took ownership of her lap once she sat down.

"I told Haru how I felt," his words surprised even himself as much as it did Kazuki. Kazuki practically froze with her eyes widened at his words. Although he knew she knew about his feelings toward Haru, they never really established this fact as she respected his privacy and he didn't want to burden her with his problems. Well, it was too late to take it back.

"I didn't tell him straightly but I worded it out to him in a way it was acceptable for friendship sort of thing. I just don't want to have any regrets when the time come for me to let go of Haru, you know?" he smiled fondly at the memory of that day. At that very moment, he looked up to Kazuki's eyes and he couldn't breathe.

"That's good Makoto!" Kazuki smiled, she did, he could see it himself. "Well, it's good to live without regret. Yeah. I… need to bathe Shiro and Kuro now! Look at the time!" she stood hastily, carrying the now meowing cats who stared at their owner with worry.

"Don't worry about helping out. I can do it myself for today Makoto. You go home and prepare for our date this Sunday, okay? I expect a blast worthy of my time now. Don't disappoint me!" she was smiling at him, he was sure of it but something was wrong. Before he could ask, she already pushed him outside, still smiling.

"See you the Sunday after the Regionals for our celebration date! Bye!" and she closed the door.

What just happened? He had no idea. Everything was working well, is it not? They made up and he was okay with Haru too. Everything was great but just now, when he talked about that day with Haru, Kazuki didn't smile for the first time. It was as if she lost her control for that very moment their eyes met and as if she was going to cry. He saw pain in her eyes. Pain. Pain. Pain.

When she smiled, it was her usual smile but her eyes were dull. Not the usual ones that sparkle in determination or glint in mischief, it was stormy, dark. As if she was holding her tears and emotion. Her pain. It was so painful that he forgot how to breathe or smile back at her like usual.

Everything should go like usual though. He didn't get it. What went wrong? He couldn't understand what was wrong. They just talked like usual, played with the cats as usual, and part as usual. It was the normalcy after all, right? But her eyes were wrong. Remembering it, he once again felt difficult to breath. Why? There was so much pain in her eyes, pain that made it hard for him to breathe.

For some reason, he went home with different guilt than before, one he couldn't understand but made him feel like crying more than ever before.

* * *

Everything went back to normal by the time they met once again. They banter like how they always do, as if her eyes never dulled that day and he never seen her pain. Whenever he wanted to ask, he didn't have the courage to once again break this normalcy and she never brought it up. Even until the Regional Tournament came around, it was never once mentioned.

Then, Haru began to distance himself. Sure, he still picked Haru out of the bath every morning and went home together on daily basis. But subtle change was there and, of course anything about Haru, he'd picked it up sooner or later. The phone Haru normally abandon at home became his second loyal companion was the first change. Every in between lesson and during lunch, Haru would discreetly checked his phone and when he saw a new message, his eyes shone and he'd reply with a rush.

He tried to brush his negative thoughts off by, as always, rationalizing it as Haru catching up with Rin after being friends again. Well, that was until Nagisa eyed Haru suspiciously with a curious and mischievous glint during lunch a week later before asking, "Did you get a girlfriend, Haru-chan?"

"It's just Rin," Haru replied nonchalantly. Other wouldn't realize it but Makoto read Haru's happiness like an open book and he tried to ease the gnawing ache growing in his stomach by taking another bite out of his lunch. He could only wish and try to change the subject but this was Nagisa after all.

"Do you like Rin, Haru-chan? As more than a friend?" Nagisa asked, sparkling in a way only Nagisa could ever achieve. Rei choked on his drink beside Nagisa at the question while Makoto merely stared in surprised at the straightforward question. What did he expect anyway? This was Nagisa. What he did not expect was Haru's answer…

"I don't know. Maybe," Haru was using his neutral tone but it was enough to elicit shock and excitement from the two juniors. Makoto choked this time in surprise –and horror and fear- and he met Haru's eyes. He knew Haru was not lying, rather he merely toned down the fact.

_I'm falling in love with Rin, _were what he read from Haru's eyes. Tears gathered up on his eyes before he had time to suppress the urge and he evaded any sign of his feeling being caught by faking a sad smile and wiping his eyes dramatically.

"My Haru-chan is growing up and leaving the nest sooner than I thought!" Makoto exclaimed, hoping his act was convincing enough. Well, it was enough to elude the two juniors but he knew Haru and Kazuki did not buy it when Haru stared at him in confusion. Fortunately, he was saved by another message from Rin for Haru. He knew Haru wanted to confront him later on their way home by Haru's hesitation to break their eye contact. Well, he also knew that Haru would forget about it the moment he met water until someone revisit this topic.

The next change was the weekend hangout. Usually they would laze around at Haru's place during the day after they cleaned up Haru's home and stayed over at his home to play with his younger twin siblings. Keyword being _usually. _The following week, he was surprised to find Rin already lounging around Haru's couch when he arrived on Saturday morning. They ended up spending the day together, the three of them.

The lump on his throat was killing him slowly inside out if he could be honest. Watching Haru's eyes straying to Rin ever few minutes during whatever they were doing, and Rin finding Haru's eyes and smiled the smile he wore years ago without ado. While this happened –repeatedly, countlessly-, Makoto was stuck in dilemma. He wanted to support Haru's love life as his best friend but what about his own love? In the end, he was never able to fight for his feeling though because Haru's happiness triumph over anything else, including his own selfishness.

Thus, he left the two rivals on their own device by the third week. He figured that it would be more couple like if they were on their own and Makoto fear that Haru would catch up to his trouble and questioned him. That would be no good. He did not want to trouble Haru with his selfish feeling. No, Haru should always be free and happy and knowing Makoto's feeling would made Haru felt torn because despite his stoic exterior, Makoto knew Haru was a kind kindred. So this was better.

Even so, the pain would throb every single time Haru's eyes shone with happiness whenever Rin messaged him or showed up out of blue. He thought he got over it. He thought he was prepared for it. It was inevitable and he knew it from the very start. He knew but the pain never did lessened, making him feel melancholy for the most days. Was it because Haru was his first love? He has not figured it out yet.

With that being said, they settled on a new unspoken routine. He would pick Haru and Kazuki up and sent both home during weekdays and left Haru to be with Rin on weekend. It kind of hurts knowing Haru was too preoccupied with Rin to notice Makoto's troubles or mind even the slightest their distance although he repeatedly remind himself it was better this way. Then again, he still had Kazuki.

In a way only Kazuki could do, she would support him and brighten his day whenever he felt down. She would always be there with Shiro and Kuro whenever he visited her home, welcoming him with a smile. She never pry but she knew of his trouble and lighten his pain without much effort. It was truly fortunate that he found a friend in Kazuki.

Before anyone realized it, he spent his time away from Haru more than he thought. The first one that brought this up was their classmate not long afterwards. _You guys are no longer together wherever you go now. Did any of you two get a girlfriend? Is it you with Sugimoto-san? _They would say and he would deny the assumption of his relation with Kazuki. But that did brought up the fact that he and Haru did drift away

Whenever he thought of it, it would sadden him immensely and the pain would come back lashing at him but it never did inflict pain in him like what happened with Kazuki those months ago. He have no idea why but he found himself thinking one fateful day that this was bearable compared to the lump in his throat that very day he broke the news about his confession. Until that very day, that day was never once mentioned again. It didn't matter, he would say to himself when he remembered that day.

One day, on his way home from watching movie with Kazuki, he saw Haru and Rin kissing. What surprised him was not the fact that he saw them. It was that he didn't feel much pain from it. He thought if this would ever happen, it would be like in the movies or novels that he would feel an agonizing pain or heartbreak. Obviously, Kazuki didn't know this as she covered his eyes before pulling him towards the other direction.

Instead of him crying, she was the one who did. A little fact he knew early on their friendship was that Kazuki actually have a soft heart that sympathize with others a lot in a way that it would make her cry if she thought something was supposed to be painful even though she was not the one who experience it. She would literally sob during the sad part of a movie every single time to his amusement.

"I'm so sorry Makoto… You shouldn't have… seen that! I should have pulled you away sooner," it was oddly heart warming to see her cry for him although he was barely affected. His body moved before he could think twice and he warped his arms around her to calm her down the way he did his siblings but it felt different for some reason. It felt special and once she calmed down, he actually felt reluctant to let go. It was so very odd. Truly odd…

… but the feeling lingered still , the yearning to hold her in his arms…

* * *

Author's note:

Here is my Makoto x OC fic that is created purely out of my piling up angst for MakoHaru ship that may never be a reality due to the possibility that HaruRin becoming an official couple in season 2. For a ton of reason, Makoto has become my absolute favorite character. I don't mind him ending up with anyone but of course, MakoHaru ship is my OTP. I can't imagine Makoto's pain if Haru drift away and I need to vent all there anxiety somewhere! And so this story is created. I don't want to end this part with too much pain that I plan to pour for the continuation that will come... sometime in the future…

I have to admit that I kind of force this to end there and some parts that I want to develop were left as it is due to my laziness, but nonetheless, I hope this is still somewhat acceptable!

I hope you guys enjoy this! Please review and fav and follow if this story is to your liking! :D


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